Tonight..or until coming days..
I used my wrist watch today even I had noticed it as early that its stop ticking already.. I don’t know I just feel like keeping it from my wrist..I don’t feel any comfy without it in my busy days..
Though this wrist watch stops..my life didn’t stop there. You see? It stops at 2am (I had noticed it when it is already 6am in the morning, so I considered it as 2am). Just now I realized that I myself miss those times..waking up at 2am.
I miss calling out ALLAH in my happiest days and forlorn days.. MashaaALLAH. (Tear drops)
I am super weak right now..my defination of weakling is on my spiritual side. I easily get affected of temporary worries.. I intended to block them out of my conciousness but I can’t anticipate an end. Subahannallah. Indeed, life comes from many challenges. The one that should not affect our goals in aakhira and the ones we take on and take control us then lead us astray from the dunya.. Astaghfirullah.
I miss those moments that I feel a great grief whenever I can’t wake up at 2am.. Some things are changing but waking up at 2am will never change..yes I miss. The feeling that it is the time for me to share everything I want, ask Him for guidance and give always infinite wisdom from my daily life.
My longing of 2am cannot put into words. ;'(
Rabbigh firliy Ya ALLAH. Ameen.
It is the hardness of the heart..that is the problem. That is the disease I have now. :”( I am exposed to too much entertainment in life. Following my Nafs unconciously. Astaghfirullah.
“Too much laughing will harden the heart the same with too much wasting a time”.. And this Fitnah.. NAFS. May ALLAH forgive my sins. Ameen.
HOPE AND FEARS.
For 3weeks I kept the reminder post on my wall.. “REPENT for NEW BEGINNING”..
..so I think it is time for me to evaluate myself on how far I monitor my pulse..my pulse on how strength and weak my heart is (connecting to the lecture I have watched).
IN SHAA ALLAH I should reconnect to ALLAH till the time I would realize that all the worries and calamities I am facing in my own microcosm is not a calamity it self but ..a blessing.
I should keep this in my mind In Shaa ALLAH that “Dhikr to the Heart is like water to a fish..A fish is rescue from the water. When a fish is run out of waterthen it will die..So if the heart is removed from Dhikr..what will happen?” Subhannallah.
The Prophet took the hand of Hadrat Muadh ibn Jabal (r.a.) and said to him, “O Mu’adh, I love you!” Hadrat Mu’adh (r.a.) responded, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you, O Messenger of Allah (saws); I love you too.” Then the Prophet (saws) said, “I advise you, O Mu’adh, say at the end of every prayer,
‘Allahumma inni ala Zikrika wa Shukrika wa husni ibadatika’
(O Allah, aid me in Your Remembrance, Your thanks, and in perfecting Your worship).”
Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa’i, Ibn Khuzaimah, Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim.
May ALLAH grant me to do more Dhikr for His sake only and purify my heart. Ameen Ya Rabb. *deeeep siiiigh*
FYI: wrist watch from babajan. Alhamdulillah
My Lord is enough for me, Glory be to Allah. There is nothing in my heart except Allah.
Reciting this again and again with conviction always makes me feel better when I feel that something of this dunya has let me down :’) And in Shaa ALLAH, one day, we will all truly understand how it feels to have only Allah in our hearts… In Shaa ALAH, ameen!
I wrote that on my whiteboard reminder using a permanent marker.. for me to be able to remain patient whenever patience tries to give strength.
(picture will be post coming days. in shaa ALLAH)